


On Love

by bpd_mp4, Publix Brand Twinks (bpd_mp4)



Series: Love Finds a Way [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, It's not explicitly stated but Dirk is trans B), Listen I just want people to love me and this fic because I love it, M/M, Marriage, Marriage Proposal, Mentions of Sexual Assault, Past Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Sad with a Happy Ending, Side Rosemary, That's also not explicitly mentioned but Dirk gets those flashbacks(tm), Trans Character, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-29
Updated: 2017-10-01
Packaged: 2019-01-06 16:35:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12214647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bpd_mp4/pseuds/bpd_mp4, https://archiveofourown.org/users/bpd_mp4/pseuds/Publix%20Brand%20Twinks
Summary: The Saturday that Jane arrived at Dirk’s house completely unannounced in nothing but a plain white sundress and a bittersweet expression on her pudgy face, Dirk had the gut feeling that something was shifting in the universe. Maybe, he thought at the time, he should contact Jade about it. Instead, he invited her in.Little did he know, it would turn his usual schedule on its proverbial head.





	1. Heart

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Tumblr user Lesbiancronus](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Tumblr+user+Lesbiancronus).



> Hi guys! I know this is suuuuper short (the whole thing is really on about 4k words) but expect more! I'm writing this for what I guess could be called an AU of mine and a friends. Anyway, this is short and sweet and I promise it won't take too much of your time! I wrote this whole thing (all three chapters) in the span of 5 hours so if there's any mistakes just let me know! I'm making this a series so I can post the "congrats, you're alive!" smut a different story, and also so I can do the whole story, however long that might take.

The Saturday that Jane arrived at Dirk’s house completely unannounced in nothing but a plain white sundress and a bittersweet expression on her pudgy face, Dirk had the gut feeling that something was shifting in the universe. Maybe, he thought at the time, he should contact Jade about it. Instead, he invited her in, and they sat in the only chairs in Dirk’s messy and mostly unused apartment in Earth C that weren’t already occupied by ratty old work clothes or half-finished, abandoned old projects. He saw the pitying expression on Jane’s face as he had maneuvered them over to the seats through piles of junkyard scrap, welding tools, drills and screwdrivers. He nearly stepped in some broken glass and sharp metal - would have if Jane hadn’t warned him like a nervous mother hen - before they finally got their destination. Dirk’s whole home was a mess, and he knew that, but his face wasn’t much cleaner than everything else in the apartment either, covered in oil, grease and overall grime. He knew Jane hated mess, knew that was why she hated him, and it made him wonder why she was here, sitting all wire-tight and nervous in the middle of what should be his living room. It was a good minute and a half before she finally spoke.  


“Dirk, I’m sorry,” was all she said, her voice quivering but if it was from reluctance or genuine grief, the man was unsure. They had been doing this dance of tension and mutual disgust for each other (and sometimes themselves) for five years already, and frankly, Dirk was just a bit tired of it. He didn’t say anything, crossing his arms and sitting back, hearing the chair creak in protest into the utter silence of the room. Jane swallowed and adjusted herself, which was when Dirk realized she was actually not sitting on the chair at all, instead floating in seated position not an inch above the felt. His anger flared but his face stayed completely still as she spoke again.  


“I… I know about Jake,” Jane said, voice barely above a whisper as she twirled the wedding band around her ring finger. The room tensed, ice cold as Dirk stiffened too, shoulders squaring back and ready to kick Jane physically out of his house if she so much as tried to talk in more detail. Instead, she just continued, solemn and face down at the ground. “I am so sorry. I wish I could take back what he did to you - I would do it in a heartbeat, Dirk,” and he could sense the sincerity in her voice even as it burned a new wound into a scar only a year and a half old. Dirk nearly let his calm exterior fail him as he shoved down the memories of a wandering hand, one around his throat suffocating his screams. He violently shook and didn’t realize Jane had continued speaking. He recited his exact coordinates to himself, the time of day, his full name, all in his head away from Jane’s possibly prying ears. When he finally looked back at her and not his feet, her words finally starting registering again.  


“Anyway, I’m here to give you this,” Jane croaked, and Dirk realized with a start that she had begun to cry at some point. He had missed her entire speech because he had been too preoccupied dissociating, and now he just felt guilty. It must have been beautiful; Jane had always had an eloquent way with words. Her lips were quivering as she twisted a ring off her right hand - not her wedding ring then, thank God. Dirk would have had a stroke if she told him she was divorcing Jake; even if it would be better for her, it would mean more hiding for him. A plain gold band was suddenly sitting in the palm of a hand he hadn’t even remembering stretching out towards her, and though it was small and simple, it weighed like a small planet in his hand. He knew it was all in his mind because his hand didn’t shoot towards the ground, but the burning sensation of a burden now rested right in his hand. He didn’t put it on or shove it back at her, simply staring at it for a moment before slipping it into the pocket of his tattered jeans. He saw Jane and stood up as well, feet firmly planted on the ground and helping drag his mind from wandering off and away from his body.  


They made their way silently to the door and Dirk realized he hadn’t said a damn thing in the past 20 minutes that they must have been in the room together. His mouth was dry and his throat felt stuck but he had to say something, anything, even if it wasn’t very smart or comforting. Just as she was standing at the door, facing him as the bright sunshine cut through the sad atmosphere, he finally managed to pry open his teeth and speak.  


“I’ve never blamed you, Jane, I... you saved me,” Dirk said quickly, loud but mostly unclear as he reached for her hand awkwardly. He hoped Jane understood what he said, hoped it made sense in her head, that she could process it with the information she now seemed to have learned and truly grasp his meaning. She just smiled again, that terribly painful bittersweet smile that was just made twice as effective by the tear tracks on her puffy cheeks, by the red in her bloodshot eyes. She didn’t respond, and she let go of his hand as she turned and walked away, her thumb drifting across his wrist in a show of affection he hadn’t expected. He knew that he and Jane had a rocky friendship, one he was reluctant to even label as a friendship, yet suddenly he realized that all those things Jake had done to him, she must have been or was still suffering through, too. The realization made him twitch nervously, watching Jane’s back disappear down the short, empty hall and then down the stairs. He just stood there, too nervous to move and shatter whatever weird thing had just happened and realize it was a dream, a thought he imagined too hard and sucked him in, but when he closed the door and turned back into his apartment, everything was just as he had left it. The ring in his pocket felt like it would burn a hole through his jeans and sear him.  


He needed coffee, or maybe a cigarette.  


He needed to see Cronus.


	2. Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jane Crocker would die for this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uhhhhhhhh I said I'd post this two days ago but I've been out of the house most of the day so hmmm just take this

Like any responsible person, Dirk never made anyone aware when he was going to disappear again to go visit Cronus in the dream bubbles. It was just not logical or safe, since any number of the people he knew could very well find him there and force him back home to work, or simply follow him to chaperone him as if he were a breakable child. Roxy had tried once but Dirk had found her out before he actually entered the bubble and forced her to go home after an argument that took too long to solve afterwards.

Now, after learning his lesson, he was totally alone at the edge of Cronus’ dream bubble, the ring from Jane surely burning a hole in his pocket. He didn’t know why he had brought it, whether he had meant to or simply subconsciously slipped it out of the pocket of his work jeans and into his casual, “visiting Cronus” jeans. God, he had labeled his wardrobe. What was he, a businessman? Christ. 

He passed into the bubble and nearly expected Cronus to just jump him like the first time he had discovered this place, but that hadn’t happened since the fifth time he had visited. He spent nearly every week day here, so of course, that in itself was quite telling. He stepped in, the familiar way the universe seemed to reverberate around him in a weak protest at his entry sunk into his skin as he moved. His footsteps were soft, quiet on the now familiarly colored grass of Cronus’ memory. It was a Monday, so he knew Cronus would be expecting him as always, like a happy puppy waiting for its owner to come home from work. The thought made him smile as he neared the door and before he was even within ten yards, Cronus was there, leaning against the frame with a patient grin on his face and a coffee mug in his hand. 

God. They were definitely soulmates - one hundred percent certainty. 

Dirk picked up the pace and was soon just a foot away from Cronus, his bubble of space for the outside even if there was nobody else around. He reached out a hand, brushing against Cronus’ before picking the mug gingerly out of his hand. Black, lots of sugar, no cream or milk, just how he liked it. He sipped at it and hummed contentedly, shutting his eyes to enjoy the warmth flooding his cold, aching bones. He hadn’t slept the entire weekend, not after that encounter on Saturday with Jane and the ring. The ring which was suddenly heavier in his pocket than it was before. Weird. 

“How’ve you been, darlin’?” Cronus purred, the sugary-sweet drawl of his words comforting and as it pulled Dirk out of his reverie. Dirk felt rather than saw the hand reach out and slip down his side to rest at his hip. It was normal, an intimate gesture which a year ago would have made him nervous and angry. Now, he relaxed into the touch, his body going lax, though the grip on his coffee was vice-like. His shades beeped, a message from Roxy likely asking if he was okay. He didn’t respond, not yet - she knew he was okay, she was just being a worrywart. He looked up at his boyfriend with a lazy half-smile and pulled the mug away from his lips almost reluctantly. 

“I’ve been fine. Tell you more inside?” Dirk’s response was smooth and filled with laughter even if his expression had gone back to flat. He slipped into the house, body sliding against Cronus’, as teasing as ever even if it no longer held the fire it once bristled with. Now, it was just his nature to poke and tease at Cronus, knowing full well it would always make him excited and overly-affectionate. That’s exactly what Dirk needed right now - the loving, touching, the comfort that settled into his bones when they kissed. He made his way to the couch, no swing in his hips or indicative arch in his back that meant he wanted anything more than cuddling and coffee. He knew Cronus got the message when they sat down and the man didn’t immediately try to shove his face in his neck. Dirk smiled and leaned closer, drinking his coffee quietly while Cronus’ thumb rubbed soothing circles into his shoulder and collarbone. It was comfortable like this; the smell of coffee and something inexplicably Cronus, the soft hum of a forgotten TV, one of the movies he had given to his boyfriend playing quietly. 

When he finished his coffee, Dirk leaned forward and put it on the coffee table before sitting back again, twisting just a bit to put a leg over Cronus’ and face him, grinning. Cronus was already smiling but his smile widened even more, baring his teeth ever so slightly. Dirk felt his chest tighten happily, the pounding of his heart a constant around his beautiful, perfect jerk of a boyfriend. He pushed his shades up until they were resting on top of his head and leaned forward, Cronus coming forward to meet him until their lips met, sloppy and hilarious because they couldn’t stop smiling like a bunch of dopey idiots - like two people who had never truly been in love before. Dirk couldn’t help himself, laughing at their awkwardness even as Cronus put a hand on his chest and softly pushed him down onto the couch until he was laying on his back, head against the armrest. 

Dirk was still laughing, breathy and happy while Cronus kissed him and started kissing the corner of his lip, down his cheek and jaw, stopping to bite marks into his skin that would be gone by morning. Dirk’s breath became short and more spaced out as time passed, and though he was super into the idea of going further, he was here with a pretty important purpose. So, even as Cronus’ hands slipped up Dirk’s shirt and made the human squirm in anticipation and also from the cold of his fingers, Dirk pushed weakly at the other man's chest, a sign for him to stop. Even though Cronus made a whine of protest, he stopped and pulled back, looking a bit worried. 

“I um. I brought you something,” Dirk said nervously, words a bit breathy as he shimmied to sit up just a bit. He dug a hand into his pocket and felt for the ring, pulling it out and rolling it in the palm of his hands. He heard Cronus take in breath sharply and wondered if he would even really understand the gesture, but from the way the man’s face was beginning to flush a deep violet, maybe he did. Dirk struggled to catch his breath and calm down long enough to say what he wanted. 

“I uh. Um. I know we can’t really get married since you’re , y’know, dead, but… a friend of mine gave me this ring after we talked about some really important, deep, emotional shit, but I don’t wear jewelry, at least not on my hands, because y’know I work with machines and all and I don’t want my finger to fall off because of a ring I mean that would hurt,” Dirk rambled, and then he caught his tongue to keep from continuing further off topic. He laughed, the nerves clutching his heart like a vice. “Anyway, you’re important to me. The most important thing to me, in fact, in my life. More important than my stupid workshop or being alive, and more important than whatever stupid universe shit that keeps us apart, keeps me from finding a way to make you alive again. It would be great for you to be alive I mean then you could live on Earth C with me and wouldn’t be stuck in the same memories for your whole life and- God, I’m rambling again. Look, my point is, Cronus, um. Will you-” Dirk started to say but he was cut off with a happy trill and the hardest kiss of his life, one that very nearly sent his shades clattering to the floor with the force. Their teeth clinked together, but it didn’t matter, because as far as Dirk’s brain was concerned, he hadn’t had to finish his big important question or even explain himself in order to receive a very enthusiastic “yes!” 

They kissed like that for what seemed like hours but was probably just a few minutes before Dirk finally had to breathe, pulling back and panting, eyes sparkling in unadulterated glee. He laughed wholeheartedly and pushed himself into a seated position, Cronus sitting back as well. They were both laughing and smiling and there were tears threatening to drop down Dirk’s cheeks. Cronus reached for the hand with the ring and Dirk opened it, the rings weight suddenly extremely light and nearly that of a feather. There was a moment of careless bliss as Cronus beamed at the ring, tears already dripped down his face and his laughter only made more adorable by the happy blubbering. 

The moment he slipped the ring on, the universe seemed to shimmer and twist, turning on its head like a ship that had run directly into the shore. For a terrifying moment, Dirk felt the universe slip away and distort, a corrupted film searing away in front of him as Cronus’ face dropped into fear and suddenly, everything was gone. Dirk was floating alone in empty space, no dream bubble or Cronus in sight. For a moment, there was silence. The sense of impending doom and complete silence, his shades obscuring the bright stars and planets around him. 

Then, Dirk looked down at his feet, body tensing as he screamed his lungs completely raw, his form glitching. 

Jane Crocker would die for this.

**Author's Note:**

> I'll post the next update tomorrow, probably around 3 to 4 PM EST! Till then, you can find me on my tumblr @mlm-dirk.  
>  B)


End file.
